


Like Overflowed Dreams and Frozen-Over Rooftops

by The_Dragon_Raccoon



Series: Winter, Truth, and Change [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (ig/i think), (whoops almost forgot to mention it), Centered on thoughts, Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, No Spoilers, Post-Timeskip, Short & Sweet, Sleeping on the dining table, a friend said to add it and ngl it sounds funny out of context, also there's a stupid analogy that is kinda the core of this whole fic, if time's relative shouldnt length also be relative, ig the ppl who read this will be the judge of that tho, not quite sure where this fits on the timeline tho, the fact it's xmas is a background detail tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28335663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dragon_Raccoon/pseuds/The_Dragon_Raccoon
Summary: Shirabu had forgotten about Christmas, but now it’s here, and holding the promise of Ushijima coming home early. Shirabu ends up taking a step into his thoughts, but as it turns out, a step is more than enough to get pulled into a slew of thoughts. Luckily enough, there seem to be answers tucked in the corners of his life, although they seem to come in weird analogies.
Relationships: Shirabu Kenjirou/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Winter, Truth, and Change [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075073
Kudos: 10





	Like Overflowed Dreams and Frozen-Over Rooftops

**Author's Note:**

> im writing this at night and im going to realize everything thts wrong w it when i wake up, bet
> 
> (rip to the amt of editing i did tonight)

Shirabu wakes up to a wretched beeping, his alarm disturbing his actually-peaceful-for-once sleep. Shirabu hits snooze, crawling back under the covers immediately after, but then hears his doorbell go off, followed by some shockingly loud singing.  _ How are they so loud, _ Shirabu wonders, trying to cover his ears, but giving up on going back to sleep when the carollers move on to their second song.

As Shirabu gets up, he looks out the window, to see frozen-over rooftops, snow everywhere, and ridiculous amounts of lights. Shirabu’s never been much of a Christmas fan, but he has to appreciate the effort, even if he thinks it’s useless. The carollers soon leave, and Shirabu goes into the kitchen to get coffee.

Shirabu gets coffee and starts cooking, putting together a simple plate of bacon and fried eggs. Only then does he check his phone, knowing that by now Ushijima would’ve given Shirabu the update on practice. Shirabu opens up his phone, but instead of the usual message informing Shirabu that Ushijima’s staying a while longer, there’s something else.

“I’m on my way home.”

Shirabu can’t quite remember the last time Ushijima didn’t stay to practice with his teammates for an extra “20 minutes” that “blurred into an hour”. Shirabu feels a small smile form on his face, typing out a quick “Stay safe”.

Shirabu glances at the Christmas tree across the room, before realizing that it is, in fact, Christmas day.  _ Oh _ , he thinks.  _ This is why he’s coming home. _

Shirabu looks outside again, and nothing’s changed. There’s still snow falling, and he can see a bit of ice on the edge of the roof.  _ Nothing’s changed. _ Shirabu idly scrolls through the previous conversations he and Ushijima had, and Shirabu wonders what’s changed in their relationship.

They’ve definitely gotten closer, that’s for sure. It’s hard to say what’s changed and what hasn’t--they’ve been with each other for seasons on end, but just like the seasons, their relationship seems to be a cycle.

Shirabu doesn’t think it’s a bad thing; they definitely both care deeply about each other, it’s just that their relationship doesn’t seem to progress that much anymore. They just stay how they are, going through the same cycles showing the same emotions to each other.

_ Why do cycles always stay the same? _

It’s an odd question, but Shirabu thinks he has a reason to ask. He wants to know why his relationship with Ushijima goes through the same cycle, changing slightly, but always reverting back. Shirabu figures they wouldn’t quite be cycles if they weren’t the same events.

Shirabu watches the hastily-decorated Christmas tree, looking for some hidden answer, but he knows that it’s just the way it is. Shirabu knows that being with Ushijima will always be his dream, and like a dream, his feelings will flow until they’re overflowing, falling around softly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Shirabu also knows his feelings will freeze and solidify with the clashing cold that is Ushijima.

It’s honestly just like snow falling on a rooftop, freezing with the winter cold. Just like a frozen-over rooftop though, it’ll melt with the change with the seasons-change from one part of a cycle to another-until it’s time for his part of the cycle again. 

-

When Ushijima arrives back home, Shirabu’s passed out on their dining table, hair slightly messy. Ushijima walks over and shakes his boyfriend gently, kissing Shirabu’s forehead when he lifts his face off the counter and turns to Ushijima.

“Sorry for making you wait,” Ushijima says, and Shirabu wraps his arms around him, face in Ushijima’s shoulder. “You okay? You usually don’t sleep during the day.”   
  
“I guess I was just stressing and thinking too much,” Shirabu mumbles, humming contently when Ushijima hugs him back. Before his next words leave his mouth though, he holds onto Ushijima a bit tighter. “You have practice tomorrow too?”

“I don’t,” Ushijima says, and he almost laughs when he sees Shirabu look at him with a face of complete confusion. “I asked coach if I could have a week off and he said it’d be fine.”

At the words, Shirabu absolutely melts, a crooked, genuine smile finding its way to his face. Ushijima smiles in return, bringing their lips together, and everything feels so safe and happy that the two of them stay like that for a while, only parting for brief moments.

Just like that though, thoughts start flowing back to Shirabu. Questions asking what their cycle is, and where Shirabu fits in it. When Shirabu opens his eyes and looks at Ushijima, he finds an answer.

Their cycle is them endlessly dancing around each other, even when they move from one part to the next. The cycle is them endlessly falling apart and feeling terribly guilty about it, yet not knowing what to do. It’s letting their feelings and dreams overflow, saying so much, and yet not enough. It turns into them trying to move forward, but failing because Ushijima’s caught up on volleyball, and Shirabu’s greedy, but not greedy enough to take Ushijima from what he loves. It ends with them longingly waiting for each other, yet dancing around it all by showing affection, but affection so repetitive it seems like forgery. And then, the cycle repeats.

There are four seasons, four steps. Four reasons, four lies. Four weeks, four meetings.

Shirabu figures that the dreams they share-the dreams that have overflowed-will remain there, silent. Shirabu doesn’t quite think they disappear. Remind him that it melts away like the ice, but Shirabu remembered that although it’ll eventually melt and evaporate, it’ll still be there, in the air. It won’t be shown as clearly as when their feelings are frozen on the rooftops, but it’ll still be there.

Shirabu knows now, and he wants to confirm, so he asks, “Why did you ask for a week off?”

“I wanted to spend time with you.”

Shirabu smiles, and that smile remains on his face as they open presents, read cards, watch some cliche movie, and just stay there, together.

Their cycle will continue, and it’s great this way. Their feelings never change, and they’ll always stay with each other. Shirabu’s genuinely content with it. That said though, he’s not going to complain as he realizes that their cycle’s been broken. Not when he realizes that they’re not stuck on each other; not when he realizes that they’re moving forward.

Shirabu’s dream is Ushijima. It’s spending time with him and smiling together as they build and break cycles and hold onto each other. Shirabu’s dream is letting his feelings overflow so much there’s a blizzard that will leave more than a frozen-over rooftop. It’s letting him show his feelings to Ushijima and not putting a lid on it, giving Ushijima all of it.

As for Ushijima? His dream is keeping everything close. It’s continuing as a volleyball player as he stays with Shirabu, moving forward not by himself, but with the two of them. Ushijima’s dream is taking all the feelings Shirabu has given and using it to make him smile. It’s deciding to try taking time away from volleyball to spend time with Shirabu and keep him close.

Their dreams are snow on rooftops, dreams that are why the parts of their cycle are never the same, just like how no winter is exactly as cold as the one before. The parts of their cycle will get worse and they’ll get better, and Shirabu thinks that’s for the best. And if he voiced his thoughts to Ushijima, the older would, without a doubt, agree.

Christmas and winter seem to have a magic behind them, at least in Shirabu’s eyes. Like overflowed dreams and frozen-over rooftops, Shirabu has been shown things can change and be never-changing. Because of that, Shirabu will thank the tree that made him look at the answers he already has, and he’ll thank the rooftops that gave him a ridiculous analogy he’ll be too embarrassed to share.

_ I wonder what else is in store this winter. _

**Author's Note:**

> idk wht to say uh
> 
> ty for following along hope u enjoyed :D
> 
> i planned on writing a simple xmas fluff but tht didnt happen so whoops
> 
> sorry this is late for most ppl, but please pretend u r in the one timezone tht still has xmas day kekw
> 
> also for if u choose to follow the series, itll b worked like this one where there's a holiday and a bunch of random thoughts and whatnot  
> ull b able to read whichever w/out context from the rest, but i plan on adding small references, especially to the 4th (there will be 4 oneshots)


End file.
